The intent of this Musing is not to become nostalgic or melancholy over the days of film. Hardly. I have only a hobbyist interest in dabbling in film again and only for my personal work. In my experience and observations I have come to realize that in the professional world, what is most important is not what is most important as viewed through the lens.

A while back I happened upon an article written by Ken Rockwell entitled, “How to Go Pro.” After reading Mr. Rockwell’s article, I felt that although it contained a bit of pessimism, in concept and reality I agreed with his views. And after having experience as a ‘pro’ I have found that the elements which most affect my ability to make a living through photography has very little to do with an image, hence my thought, “When what is, is not.” Now don’t get me wrong, when one is getting paid to produce an image, or series of images, there is a baseline which must be met. A certain level of quality and knowledge is necessary otherwise, the client becomes “one in a row” since they will seldom return to your door to give you another assignment.

Like any business there is the business side of things which any professional must tend to. Accounts receivable, payable, payroll, capital expenditures, marketing, work flow, taxes, storage, business development, etc. That list does not vary from a firm that makes widgets or a service that hauls garbage. All of the things that make one a ‘pro’ has nothing at all to do with the art of the image.  There are PR companies to satisfy and sometimes they can be obsessively controlling. There are great clients to work with as well and those who have vision and the balls to try something new, exciting and unknown.

On the other side of the coin is the personal satisfaction of seeing one’s own name associated on a printed page, marquee, or website displaying your work. Depending on how much one allows those small moments of notoriety to motivate your work will determine how much control your own ego has over your future.

Some colleagues are able to pursue their professional lives simply because they have the luxury of partners who support their day to day financial needs. Rent/mortgages, food, utilities, insurance, children’s tuition, car payments, are things most of us must consider before the purchase of new camera gear or trips to faraway places. I envy those who have that opportunity, for it has never been my fate to be the one provided for, I have always been the provider.

My partner recently sent me an article in the New York Times entitled, “For Photographers, the Image of a Shrinking Path.” The article talks about the shrinking possibilities for those who aspire to become professional photographer and has some very sobering and valid statistics on the how’s and why’s our industry is rapidly shrinking.

One other thought that I would like to share is that every photographer must acknowledge that what we produce as professionals is secondary to the subject matter. Our jobs, be it as a photojournalist, sports, wedding, or performance photographers is to make the subject matter center stage. We are NOT the stars of the image, but merely the vehicles to convey the subject to the viewer. Some may be better than others, but the goal is the same.
In order to keep my own sanity, I realize that there will always be shots that better my own and on some days mine may be the best of the day. But those moments are short lived, as there is always a new assignment to cover, another image which a client has described. By producing the very best I can on any given day is what motivates me, unless of course my ability or inability to pay the mortgage begins to consume my thoughts and it is at those junctures when what is, is not.

It is in those moments when shooting for myself is the most important and I am taken back to why I started this all as a hobby.

As all of us know “arts” is a subject that is always the first to go in our schools. It is often viewed as an unnecessary subject, easily replaced and in some ways “frivolous” to other more important subjects. I am priviledged to witness the effect of “frivolous” art on a regular basis. From BBoy to the San Francisco Ballet to a Nationally Acclaimed theatre company to musicians and those who are destined to become legendary. So many schools talk of sports and the need to keep young people off the streets.  This is just as true for the arts, where individuals who may not ‘fit in’ find a voice through music or dance.

Society gives much lip service in the US toward education, yet we utter hollow words when it comes to funding our schools and the future of our society. Reality TV and fast foods dominate the fabric of what we have become and those pursuits which require discipline and self-sacrifice are ideas which seem outdated in our culture. The clamoring for attention in a sound bite world deafens the voices who aspire to pursuits substance. We know more about the failures of those who have achieved perceived fame than of those close to us. It goes on and on.

What my immersion into the arts has shown me is how discipline and self sacrifice forms its own camaraderie and community. Like minded individuals gather, share and collaborate to build something much larger than themselves. Yes, as individuals they gain satisfaction from their individual contributions, but it is the totality of the whole that takes precedence over all other elements. Being part of their art is perhaps the largest fortune I could ever hope to gain, their passion and enthusiasm for their craft fuels my desire to be part of that community regardless of the genre. Passion and commitment are blind to the artistic vehicle, they simply exist to fuel improvement and that elusive moment of artistic perfection.

And in the end, isn’t how we’ve lived out our dreams the most important aspect of who we’ve become?

Not many of you have followed my blog since its inception in November of 2005. My very first Musing revolved around my son Niko who appears in this post. Back then he had an initial interest in photography when he announced to me one night that he wanted to photograph a building by the lake. I was a bit suspicious of a young teenager wanting to venture out on a school night. But in reality he actually wanted to take a simple photograph. So out we ventured during that brisk Fall night and in a moment we forged another memory that will stay with me forever. His interest in photography waned shortly after that event, being replaced by cars, girls and dates. I was disappointed since he seemed to have a natural eye for a scene and its composition.

So when he told me that in his sophomore year of college he had enrolled into a photography course, I was a bit surprised. We ventured out one evening so that he could complete an assignment for his class to capture “Light, Shapes and Lines” for class. He later told me that his professor tagged all of his photos as an excellent example of the assignment, a first for a sophomore.

This past weekend I was asked to document a wedding, which is an event I have so often avoided since I do NOT consider myself a wedding photographer. The thought of group shots and posed photography gives me the hives. I am a street shooter at heart and the more movement and darker the environment, the more I relish the assignment. And since Tracy was on assignment the same day at another event, I asked my son to be my second shooter. He enthusiastically agreed and got what I considered the shot of the day, the one posted below.

This shot eclipses my best of the day and I am both proud and envious.

On the other side of the sibling tree is my daughter. A senior in college she has decided to devote her life to improving the lives of the Autistic. Working with a five year old boy for the better part of the year she conveyed to me that improvement comes in small, yet gratifying steps. Her student has never spoken, but his mother conveyed that during a weekend, when asked if he wanted his favorite cereal for breakfast, the boy replied “Yes.” A seemingly small event, but monumental in the realm of autistic children. My daughter’s feat cannot be displayed in an image, yet humbles me in the enormity of its significance and selflessness.

I fully expect that in 2014 I will again post my next chapter in The Growth of Pride

Those very words have been in the forefront of my mind since I read them. A month after returning from NYC visiting the cast and crew of Burn the Floor I read an interview where Kevin Clifton was being interviewed by Broadway Buzz. When asked about the differences between competing and performing, he told the interviewer, “I made the decision to join Burn the Floor, where I get much more license to express rather than impress.” There have been very few times over the past 10 years when I have pondered words spoken by another for a significant amount of time. I’m sure that this is due to two primary reasons. The first is that I respect Kevin as an artist and as a friend. Getting to know him over the past year and watching him perform with an abandon only associated with pure passion is truly inspiring. The second factor that fuels my thoughts about his sage words is my own struggle to separate myself from the small successes I have had in the photographic world. “Playing to the crowd” is something I have never wanted to do, yet through competitions and juried eyes, I had found myself giving more credence to the opinion of others than to myself. And that is a very dangerous slope to begin sliding toward.

There are certainly the realities of impressing those who pay me to capture imagery. My clients have an expectation of my work and separating the commerce portion of my craft from the expressive part was highlighted only after reading Kevin’s words. In so many ways my recent work is a vast departure from the past. But allowing myself to express how I feel through imagery is the reason I began this journey. My son is currently enrolled in a college photography course and was given an assignment to capture 15 images of ‘Light, Shapes and Shadows.” So on the evening before the assignment was due (teenagers!) we ventured to San Francisco International Airport to photograph scenes which represented his assignment. During that time I found myself shooting as I had in the beginning; with reckless abandon. I was not concerned about the results, but simply the pure joy of shooting and sharing time with my son. When I returned home and put my evening’s images up on the monitor, Tracy looked over and chuckled. I knew what her laughing meant. Yet it was of little consequence since the pure joy of shooting trumped the results. My son on the other hand produced 15 images to which his professor exclaimed, “You are the very first sophomore to ever have all 15 images tagged as well done.” High praise indeed, but at some point I will also remind my son to “Express rather than Impress.” Kevin, thank you for something that has changed my approach to my work more than you will ever know.

I have been away from street shooting for quite some time and this past Memorial Day weekend, I had the pleasure of returning to my first photographic love. Beginning today, May 25th, I will run two separate series of images. The first will be Cars, (May 25-29) which will be my attempt at our love affair with the automobile, to which I am not immune. You may also notice that many of the images in Cars are in color. I simply found the imagery to be more compelling by including their hues.

Moments of Transparency 2 - a series May 30 – June 5

Beginning on Saturday March 30th, I will run the second in my series of “Moments of Transparency” (May 30-June 5) which contain my fascination with window shots. I have seemed to amass quite a number of images taken as people observe the world around them through a simple pane of glass. I’m not quite certain what facinates me so about this subject matter, but it is enough to motivate me to publish an upcoming book of this series.